Lead or Command? The Leadership Shift That Changes Everything

“A leader’s job is not to do the work for others; it’s to help others figure out how to do it themselves, to get things done, and to succeed beyond what they thought possible.” – Simon Sinek

Leadership is not about control. It is not about demanding more, pushing harder, or exhausting people under the weight of unrealistic expectations. Yet, in today’s fast-paced corporate landscape, a troubling trend has emerged—leaders pushing teams to work longer, harder, and with relentless urgency, often at the cost of their well-being. Employees, fearing they’ll be deemed dispensable, overextend themselves, caught in a cycle of burnout. The reality? This isn’t leadership. It’s survivalism disguised as success.

At Decision Tides, I’ve worked with professionals across industries, and in just the past week, five different clients voiced the same struggle: the crushing expectation to always give more. They were anxious about meeting professional goals while maintaining personal well-being and a support system. They felt alone, balancing ambition with exhaustion, fearful that stepping back—even briefly—would be seen as weakness.

One client described a workplace where the leader swore frequently at employees, belittling them in meetings and using intimidation as a leadership tactic. The culture thrived on fear, not respect. Employees walked on eggshells, never sure when they’d be the next target. Worse still, this toxic environment was paired with mandatory “team bonding” events that revolved around alcohol. Opting out wasn’t seen as a personal choice—it was viewed as a lack of commitment. But forced participation in alcohol-driven outings does not build culture; it erodes trust, alienates employees who don’t conform, and fosters a toxic, exclusionary environment.

True leadership fosters psychological safety, not anxiety. Research from Gallup shows that organizations with high psychological safety experience a 27% reduction in turnover and a 12% increase in productivity—clear indicators that investing in people yields measurable success. Employees thrive when they feel safe, valued, and heard. Leadership isn’t about forcing everyone into the same mold; it’s about creating an inclusive space where individuals contribute authentically and flourish.

A Harvard Business Review study found that employees who feel cared for by leadership are 44% more likely to be engaged in their work. The best leaders cultivate a culture where employees feel empowered to take a break, step outside, and reflect—without fear of being penalized for prioritizing well-being. At Decision Tides, I encourage those I coach to envision their ideal life outcomes, not just professional goals. Success isn’t about endurance; it’s about thriving in a sustainable, fulfilling way.

To those in leadership positions, I pose these questions: Are you fostering an environment where your people can exceed their own expectations? Are you cultivating a workplace where employees feel valued, engaged, and supported? Leadership is an act of service, and true leaders recognize that caring for their teams is not optional—it’s essential.

The call to action is clear: Redefine leadership. Be a steward, not a taskmaster. Build a workplace where people flourish, not just function. Because in the end, a leader’s legacy isn’t measured by how much was extracted from employees—it’s defined by how much was invested in them.

If you’re a leader looking to create a stronger, healthier culture in your organization or an individual seeking balance between success and well-being, coaching can help. At Decision Tides, I work with professionals at all levels to develop leadership skills, set clear goals, and build sustainable success.

Let’s start a conversation—visit www.decisiontides.com to schedule a consultation today.